Category Archives: #adult children


The importance of decluttering and how it change our life positively

Simplicity is about subtracting the obvious and adding the meaningful.” ~John Maeda, the Laws of Simplicity

Nearly everyone has this moment dawning upon him where they realize how cluttered their life is and how deeply they need decluttering. Everything that is constant but pointless needs to be detached for you to start a new beginning. Your life may seem perfect to an outsider, but personally, you feel stuck and frustrated; this is where decluttering comes in; it helps you organize your home in a way that makes you feel ecstatic in every way be it emotionally, spiritually, physically. It is a fact that cannot be denied that cluttering effects the overall flow of positive vibes throughout your home and your body. It is quite usual to feel held back by your environment. It can be a piece of furniture, an unfinished project, a broken vase that was a gift from someone close, a gift you have kept for someone “in case they pay you a visit,” even your old clothes, half used make-up. Everything that is there to bring back some old unpleasant feelings or is holding you back from doing something new and exciting is something that you have to declutter.

Set your priorities:

First and the foremost thing that you have to do is set your priorities, take actions for what is just a dream or desire that it is being postponed due to a family obligation or work. It is paramount for a positive life that you live stress-free and focused on what you are doing NOT on what you should be doing. It is a known fact that two physical objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Whenever it comes to a second choice we always have to choose between two things; either this or that. Same should be the case with your inner self; you must not keep two thoughts or duties in the same compartment of your brain not only will it confuse you but will stress you out to your core. No matter how much you change your surrounding, there will always come a moment where you will be contemplating on what you SHOULD BE doing instead of what you ARE doing. Make 2017 a clutter free year both physically and emotionally. Try to forgive and forget, move from negative thinking to positive thinking as both cannot co-exist. Set yourself free by choosing what you SHOULD do not what you are supposed to do.

One man’s trash is another man’s treasure:

Secondly start decluttering your shed or any storage place where you hide your “unwanted treasure.” Strat clearing out anything that is a burden on the space and clutter for your positive growth. Everything from a year old magazine, empty plastic cans, rusty tins of dried paints, an old rocking chair with a broken arm place, birdcages, declutter them all. It’s not necessary that you have to throw things away. You can always donate them to various charitable organizations which will not only declutter your space but will also give you this sense of profound joy of helping someone in need. As the saying goes “One man’s treasure is another man’s trash”; what is trash for you might be a bundle of joy for someone else.

Unconscious consumerism:

We all are guilty of unconscious consumerism, and this dawns upon us when we look at ourselves and see our space occupied by things that we rarely use and this sense of guilty engulfs us; takes away any bit of satisfaction we had while shopping. We are all so enamored by the innovations and updates in technology that yesterday’s breakthrough easily becomes tomorrow’s trash. So what you can do is get rid of all the old printers lining in the storage room because you got a newer much-updated version, a TV because you got a giant flat, rear projection television, or anything that is there unused since ages because you have got a replacement for that. Decluttering such valuable clutter is always hard, but nevertheless, you have to for a positive change in your life.

Sensibility vs. sentimentality: 

The life-enhancing energy called chi, according to the Chinese must flow freely in our homes, but it is normally blocked because of the presence of emotional, physical or spiritual clutter. So the first and foremost clutter that needs to be handled is the physical one as the physical opens the doors to the positive change to start. Invigorating and reorganizing your life is always a battle between sensibility vs. sentimentality. There are things that you are attached to and even though you are not using them for ages still have a spot in your heart where you regard them as treasure. It is this kind of pressure that blemishes your beginning of decluttering. Chi involves both the positive (yang) and the negative energy (yang). In order to bring a positive change, you obviously need to harness the positive energy, as stated above to (or “intending to”) harness the positive energy you need to declutter everything that sets you back to the past and blocks the way for positive vibes to flow in your space. Decluttering also does not mean that you should have empty spaces as nature despises vacuum; so instead of leaving you space empty it with light, plants, colors and everything that will bring in positivity.

Consult a specialist:

Let’s face it decluttering on your own can be a stressful, loathsome, and tiresome job. Well, why do it alone when you can have professionals for this job. Experts at abode staging will not only help you in decluttering but will also assist you with organizing and reconstructing your entire home. Professional organizers at abode staging will guide you from the very moment you decide to declutter and reorganize your home.


How to deal with stuff after your parents die?

What can be more traumatic than dealing with your parent’s death is dealing with the stuff they have left. You can never be ready for disposing of their lifelong possessions, but you will have to at some point. Here are a few stages that you can consider that can help you ease the process and guide you to declutter efficiently after your parent’s death.

When to start dealing with your parent’s possessions:

Grief is an important process to heal after the loss of loved ones; it should not be rushed. Dealing with stuff has no right or wrong time. Let time heal you before you start dealing with your parent’s possessions.

For those who do not have the luxury of time to start, then you may find yourself in the middle of a whole range of emotions. This is precisely the time when your emotions may take hold of you so you must approach the process with a clear plan to keep you focused.

Inform your siblings, make a plan:

If you have siblings, it is better to let them know before you start decluttering, so that you may arrange a plan and a time frame. But if you are an only child, it would be a lot better to take someone close to you. Ultimately, this will help you stay focused and not let emotion take control.

Make a List:

Make a list that will help you prioritize:

  • Which part of the room/house you need to focus on
  • Who can help you sort out your parent’s belongings
  • What can you give away as a memento and who would be touched to have them
  • Decide the days that you think will be best for decluttering

Make preparations:

Materialistically, we recommend that you get the given below materials ready to make the process as streamlined as possible:

  • Markers
  • Boxes, storage containers, bags
  • Tape
  • Gloves and face masks (if there is any dusting required)
  • Stickers for labeling

However, going through your parent’s possessions is going to be a very emotional time. You need to be ready for the following

  • Be ready for a flood of memories
  • Expect a few surprises
  • Prepare for tears, sadness, and laughter
  • You may feel stuck and not able to continue. Know that this not unusual and that you do not have to rush if you are not ready
  • Don’t be hard on yourself, allow your tears to flow. The grief, regrets are all part of the process.

Furthermore, it is better to divide according to the basic strategy that is what you want to keep, donate, throw away, give away as a memento, and those items that you haven’t decided about yet. As a result, you will have a clear idea of what you plan to do, and the chances are that it might help in keeping your mind busy and less focused on your feelings.

Tackle the bigger mess first

What is the most challenging and frustrating area for you? Is it going through the mess of papers? A cluttered room or the storage room? Take baby steps to deal with the primary stress area. It is better that you start letting go of stuff that causes you the most stress and you will start feeling much better about the overall project.

There is a possibility that you may have to pay the bills as well so keep an eye on everything that is around you and try not to let emotions hinder the process.

Be easy on yourself:

You don’t have to resolve what to do with everything all at once. The fact is that it can be quite hard dealing with your parents’ lifetime possessions all at once.  Know that everyone one, every the most organized one have difficulty controlling their emotions. There will be highs and lows. Some days you will feel better and some not as much. Be aware of your feelings and don’t beat yourself up. It is always better to deal with stuff on days when you feel comparatively better.

Hire help:

Although you can sell your parents’ belongings all by yourself, in case you don’t have that luxury of time, you can always hire someone to help you in the process. Sort out the personal belongings and then bring in professionals who have experience in decluttering. Experts will help you liquidate households swiftly and without taking much of your time.

There is nothing wrong with designating stuff to stay for the short term. Getting rid of everything all at once is not healthy either. Everything has a value it can be monetary and even emotional. While dealing with your parents’ stuff, you can be overwhelmed in many ways. You can either get too isolated ultimately throwing away everything or too attached and keeping things that might clutter your home without giving you any value. So the line you will be walking is going to be fragile, and you need to be in all your senses while going through your parents’ stuff.


How to deal with adult children at home

Parenting is never the same as our Kids grow up. There’s no more changing diapers and having to be in check for your Kids health and food. As our kids grow up, Parenting changes. There are no more shouting at Kids whenever they did something wrong or something that could hurt them so that they can learn a lesson, you don’t have to worry that much about the food and health of your child as you used to when your kids were young. So, with time Parenting changes too and It for sure is a challenging task, as they say, that Being Parents or Parenting is the most difficult task in the World.

With the World changing today, with its terms and cultures, our Adult kids are changing too. They demand different things that are getting normal or already are normal in today society or the world. So, Parenting with Adult kids get pretty much tough as Every decision or Every word out of your mouth can make a different impact or can have different effects on your kid. You never know how your Adult child would react to what you are saying so It kind of gets pretty hard and difficult in order to cope with them. You have to keep close attention to your Adult kids.

So, Dealing with Adult kids can be hectic but It can be pretty comforting too. Parents are happy and have been happy when their Adult kids are obedient, that is everything a Parent want. You might not have those day to day challenges anymore when your child was young but building a relationship with your Adult child can be pretty hard. There are different times or different moments that you have to act differently. So, Building a relationship with your child can be pretty difficult. In order to make this difficulty easy for you, We will be giving you some tips so that you can easily have a great relationship with your Adult child or there is comfort whenever you are dealing with your Adult child.

So, Let’s get started-

  1. Knowing them as Adults-

Kids or Children as they grow up have their own personality or they are new human beings now and you have to get to know them just as you want or are going to know strangers. When you meet with someone you get to know completely, their likes and dislikes. They aren’t kids or children that you used to guide them through things in life but they are now adults and they are completely different. So, In order to have a great and perfect relation with your Adult child, you have to know them completely.

  1. Don’t irritate them about Marriage and Kids-

Children as they grow up, get mature and mature and their thinking process or their thinking magnitude widens more and more so they are capable of making their own decisions and think for their own future. There is always time to get married and your child might be good looking and might have a great charisma which might make you wonder that why can’t your child have a girl or a boy or get settled. Well, your Adult child might have his or her own plans so you don’t have to bug them about Marriage and all. This might make them irritated and your child might have to distance yourself from you.

  1. Paying them?

Times are getting tougher and harder, everyone’s having a financial crisis, mostly and so it gets hard to manage your family. Your child might be living with you and it is getting more common now to be living with their parents. Now, if your kid or child is returning back to your home then it is time to set some ground rules. Curfews that you used to have won’t be applied now but in return, there should be some other things that you have to make sure that your child does it. Say, for example, make sure that your child pays utilities or buys groceries. Your child after growing up must help you out in these matters.

  1. Let them clean up their own mess-

As time flies as our children grow up, we don’t have the need to clean their rooms or their messes. They have to clean their mess themselves as Parents want their children to grow up quickly so that most of the responsibility that parents have is gone. You have to show them how things are done so that they are prepared for their life ahead. They for sure will love for you all the information or the doings that you would have taught which would end up being beneficial for them.

  1. Criticism-

Criticism is a vital portion of having a healthy relationship with your child. As said above, when our children grow up and when they are capable of doing things on their own, they have a strategy and they have doings and not doings of their own way and so criticism is something that children not always welcome and it often fires back.

Parents have to be very careful when it comes to criticizing their children. They might be dealing with matters completely different than you used and so there might arise a conflict in things the way you did and your children might do. There is no bad in this and so there is no right for Parents to criticize their way of doings. And if you do criticize your child, make sure it is a constructive criticism, not a harsh one that would make your child get angry and which could affect your relationship with your child.

So, the above we some tips or points that could make you have a great relationship with your child as children are the most important assets of Parents above anything and Parents love to have a great relationship with them. These points would help you get that relationship.